#59 - My poor feet

Before I tell you about reason #59 why I hate being fat, I need to share a little victory. I've been schlepping around town in these jeans that are very, very big on me, clearly a sign that I'm losing weight. I've been trying to make them last. You know, I don't want to spend tons of money on new clothes, so I try to make the old ones last as long as possible. Anyway, I went to Avenue yesterday for some new duds. I must tell you I was totally elated when I slipped on a pair of size 22's...and they fit. This was such a victory because the last pair of jeans I bought were 26's. I couldn't believe it. I actually skipped a size. Yipee!!! It's victories like these that make the whole weight loss process bearable. On a side note, while my waistline has been whittling down, my weight doesn't want to budge. I guess the scale sometimes lies! I'll take a smaller size any day over a few pounds lost on the scale!

OK, so onto reason #59 - my poor feet. As a large gal, I carry around a huge amount of excess weight, at my highest weight like 140 pounds extra! Imagine carrying around a 140 pound backpack - ugh! All this weight pounds down on my poor feet with every step I take. This leads to tired, sore, calloused feet. My poor aching dogs! When I was a skinny young thing I never worried about calloused feet. I had beautiful, soft, lovely feet. Now I'm embarrassed to run around barefoot in front of people. I try desperately hard to keep up with the callous production by giving myself little home pedicures. But at my highest weight, home pedicures were a challenge, having to reach down to my feet, my big belly in the way. So the callouses built up and made my feet look like an awful mess. I was utterly embarrassed when I had an appointment with my neurologist who asked me to remove my shoes and socks. I hadn't expected to be showing my feet to my neurologist. At least I didn't think my brain was in my feet. But a part of a full neuro exam including poking and prodding pretty much every corner of my body, feet included. So I slipped off my socks and the doctor ran a probe over my feet to check my reflexes. I sat there thinking that my feet must look awful, I hadn't put on any lotion and my callouses had been especially bad at that time. To my horror, the doctor looks up at me and says that a women of my size needs to take extra care of their feet because callouses can become cracks, which can then become infected, which in a diabetic might be hard to heal. I was mortified. I know he was just concerned, but God, why did he make me take off my socks? I knew my feet were awful. I really didn't need reminding. I had seen my neurologist at my highest weight, when I having a bit of trouble with foot care, so my feet were definitely at their worst. From that day on, I swore I would take better care of my poor feet.

One option for foot pampering is a professional pedicure. Though not cheap, it is a nice indulgence. Being a fat chick, I shied away from salons in the past. I've touched on my thoughts on salons before. The thought of someone looking at my fat feet is embarrassing. Not only are my feet chubby, I have gross calloused heels. I had my first pedicure in preparation for my friend's wedding (see Fat Bridesmaid). I was hesitant, but as I slipped my feet into the divine bubbling water, my fears slipped away. The pedicure was wonderful, and I ended up loving every minute of it. I wish I had the cash to get one every week! The only time I was self-conscious was when the technicians, who were working on all the wedding party, turned to each other and started chatting away. As the little Asian woman scrubbed away at my callouses with some serious muscle, she turned to her co-worker and commented and laughed in Vietnamese (I think). What on Earth did she say? "Oh my, look at this fat one's feet. Eewww." Of course, this is what I envisioned she had said, but I guess I'll never know. Maybe she was just chatting to pass the time, telling her friend about her date last night or something. I don't know. But my insecurity was sure she was making fun of me. Realistically these pedicure technicians must see the worst of everyone's feet. Imagine all the old grannies with yellowed toenails, crusty skin, and unknown fungi. Yuck! That must be much worse for them. My feet were probably a pleasant change. In fact, I was so self-conscious about the pedicure, that I actually did a home pedi the night before my real pedi. Silly, isn't it? So I'm sure my feet looked pretty nice, and I'm pretty sure the technician wasn't even talking about me. Who knows?

Now that I've lost a bit of weight (about 30 pounds), I can do my own pedicures at home. My pesky belly isn't such a problem anymore (another non-scale victory I guess). I've managed to keep the callouses to a minimum and pamper my feet with all kinds of fancy lotions everyday. I'm sure they thank me for the TLC after the hard day I've put them through, lugging my body around. I really would love to get down to a weight again where foot care isn't such a big issue, where a pedicure is a luxury not a necessity, and where callouses come from new shoes and not a fat body. Another reason I hate being fat!

On a side note... OMG, you must watch this video about nail salons - totally hilarious!