I hate that I am unable to do the activities I want to do - hiking, camping, running, skiing, kayaking, scuba diving, parasailing, etc... I get so winded, so easy that I just don't do the activities I like to do for fear that I just can't do it physically. I'm also always paranoid that my fatness will embarrass me. For example, I would never go parasailing for fear that I am too fat. Or, I would never go kayaking because I'd be afraid I wouldn't fit in the hole of the boat! So it's really a blend of physical inability and fear. I really want to hike more often - and not just a couple blocks worth. I really would love to scuba dive again without the fear of finding a wetsuit that would fit and enough weights to hold me down under water (fat floats!). More motivation to lose!!!
This week has been awesome. I told myself that all I had to accomplish this week was to journal my eating. I have (using FitDay PC - awesome program) tracked since last Thursday, and it's going great. I haven't been perfect, but I've managed to lose 3.5 pounds already! Seriously, I think it's just a matter of tracking what you eat. If you're more aware of what you're eating, you just seem to eat less! I still need to work on my consumption of sweets, but I'll save that project for another week.
I've been feeling better about myself lately and decided I'd like to start dating again. I even signed up at Match.com and eHarmony.com to see what would happen. I don't know...I'm skeptical, but I'll give it a try. Wish me luck!
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4 comments:
Please tell me I'm allowed to laugh at some of this--like the part about not fitting in the hole in the kayak...I am tearing up! ;)
Yes, laughing is TOTALLY allowed! I love finding the humor in a dire situation! I think we always blow things out of proportion - including our bodysize!
You mentioned using FitDay to mark your calories--may I suggest Sparkpeople? I've been using them for a while now. I understand some of how you feel, as I have been unable to exercise for the past 4-5 years due to an extremely painful knee. I recently had surgery and I'm so eager to get back to exercising! Unfortunately my knee needs a bit more time to heal before I can do that :(
I just started reading your blog from the start, and I really admire your healthy approach. I'm a bit inspired. Baby steps obviously worked wonders for you, congratulations. :)
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