Emergency Update

Again I have to apologize for not posting in some time. I find myself back in Greece already, although this time not under happy circumstances. I have had a serious family emergency that I'm dealing with right now. My fiance (who lives in Greece) was in a serious auto accident and broke his neck. Of course I rushed to his side to help in anyway I can because right now he is paralyzed. I think I'm still in shock about the whole thing. Currently he is still in the hospital, but relatively stable. The injury was the best type we could hope for (if that makes sense). He didn't sever any nerves, there is no bleeding or fluid in the spinal cord, it was a compression injury meaning his spinal cord got a little squeeze during the trauma. But now we wait, wait to see what will happen, to see if he can regain the function of his arms and legs. In the next week or so he will transfer over to a rehab facility to start physical therapy, I think then we'll know more about the prognosis, but the doctors are optimistic. But with this type of injury it's kind of a 50/50 split: he might recover, he might not. Only time will tell. And with spinal injuries, it takes A LOT of time.

During this hard time it has got me to thinking about strength. In my day to day life I'm always complaining about feeling tired or sick or some dumb complaint. I never seem to have the energy to do anything. I'm always saying, "I can't do it", or "It's too hard", or "I don't know if I'll make it." But now, in dealing with all of this, I seem to have found endless energy. Where does this energy come from? Why don't I have this energy in my everyday life? I guess it's all about adrenaline. In times of extreme need we find strength we never knew we had. It just makes me realize I am strong and I can accomplish anything I set my mind to in my daily life. And during such a serious crisis it really makes you see what's important, and all those little things we worry about seem to melt away.

Another thing I've been contending with is food during this time. Of course when I'm stressed all I want to do is reach for comfort food. I really need those serotonin releasing carbs right now! The hard thing is that it's really hard to eat well when you spend a lot of time at the hospital. I find I grab any junk in site to keep me fueled after 14 hours in the hospital. But I know I need to eat real food to keep me going in the long run. It's impossible to run on Cheetos all day long! Luckily the hospital has a nice store that sells great sandwiches so I've been living on those for the past two weeks. On the other hand, I've thrown my weight watching out the window right now. Of course I don't want to gain weight, but it's really not a priority or concern right now. And actually I'm running around so much that it's probably impossible NOT to lose weight at this point no matter what I eat. I noticed in the past couple weeks my jeans are getting looser and looser. So I guess that's a good thing, but again, right now it doesn't seem important.

I guess sometimes it takes a real crisis for us to access our lives, to make us see how strong we are. It makes all of my shallow thoughts about weight seem so dumb (you know what I mean - worrying about what other people think of my butt and things like that). The most important reason to lose weight is for health, period! I want to lead a healthy long life, and the only way to do that is by losing weight. And remember we do have strength, all of us! Sometimes it takes an emergency to really see it, but it's there. So whatever your challenge, remember that you too have the strength to deal with it. You just need to believe in it, believe that you have the strength and energy to keep going.

So let me close this post in saying, if you believe in it, please say a little prayer for us. We need as much positive energy flowing our way as we can to get during this difficult time!