Ooo, this is a big one for me! I absolutely hate sleeveless shirts when I'm fat. Don't you? There is nothing I hate more than a fat woman letting her arm blubber flap in the wind, protruding out from sleeveless attire! I will never be one of those women. I have completely sworn off tank tops, halters, camis, sleeveless, spaghetti straps, and the like, until I can get this arm fat under control. It's sad, but I actually think the arm fat looks worse now that I'm losing weight. I seem to have formed these skin wings that hang down from under my arms. So attractive! So I imposed a banned on all sleeveless shirts until I can not only lose the weight, but firm up that loose skin. I hope I'm one of those lucky ladies with elastic skin that is able to mold itself back to it's original firm glory. Though I've been obese for over 15 years, I may need a bit of a tuck to get a handle on the skin. I hope not though. I'm not really keen to the idea of plastic surgery. I'm sure once I hit my goal, I won't give a crap about a bit of skin as long as I weigh less. Who knows? We'll have to wait and see.
And it's not just sleeveless shirts that are forbidden from my wardrobe. No sir. I refuse to wear cap sleeves, shorts, swimsuits, and belly shirts! So why is that all of the fat shops are chocked full these items? My God, if I see another shortie top at Lane Bryant I'll die! Why on Earth do they think we want to show off the very parts that make us look fat? I know a lot of heavy women that embrace their curves and love to show them off, but let me tell you honey, no one else likes to look! I think a bit of healthy self confidence is great, don't get me wrong. But I think you can bee self confident and not show your protruding belly to the world. It gets really hard though to avoid skimpy clothes as the weather gets hotter and hotter. I would love to be comfortable in shorts and a tank during the summer when the weather is sweltering. I'm just not that comfortable to pull it off though. In the summer my wardrobe shifts from jeans and T's to capris and T's, whatever I can do to cover the blubber. And with summer approaching, beach season is just around the corner, but you won't see me in any bikini! No way! Of course there is the need to don a swimsuit now and again, but it's sheer torture for me. I know some people that cover up with a T-shirt while they swim, but who are they kidding? By the time you get wet, your T clings to your body and defeats the whole body incognito thing you were going for. So every once in a while I suck it up, put on the tankini and dive in! Albeit a little uncomfortable, but at least I'm chillin' in the pool. I look forward to the days of no banned clothing. Days when I can look into my closet and say, "What do I WANT to wear today?", and not "What CAN I wear today that won't make me look fat?" I know as long as I keep at it, someday will come sooner than I think! I can't wait!
About Me
- karaokekitty
- I'm a medical/ science/ nonfiction writer living it Texas. In my quest to get healthier, I've tried to refrain from my favorite activity of baking yummy goodies! I've shifted my life from one in front of the tv to one in front of the computer - I guess I've gone from couch potato to mouse potato!
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22 comments:
Amen! I loved this post, so much that anything I type in a comment shall pale in comparison.
Ditto on the sleeveless shirts. Blech.
But I wish you would reconsider on the "no shorts" policy. I hate to admit this, but I'm much more likely to stare at a larger person who's *overdressed* on a hot day, than one who's comfortable in shorts & a t-shirt.
Wishing you inner peace & self-confidence . . . .
I do understand this feeling really well. I actually posted about sleeveless shirts. My thing is this is the first year I have decided I am going to be comfortable. My arms fat, they are going to be fat if they are covered with a t-shirt or not and I am going to enjoy the coolness of the no sleeves while I walk around working the weight off. My thinking was like yours last year about myself...maybe it's different because I turned 40. Less years left and I am going to enjoy what I got. I wish that for everyone cause it is what life should really be about. Personally I still wouldn't be comfortable with the mid riff shirts...just not my thing. Shorts I would like if I could find some that didn't ride up in the inside of my thighs *sigh*.
i've always had 'big' arms and have only recently gotten more comfortable wearing sleeveless tops... even after lifting weights and doing tons of cardio - i've accepted that's how they're going to be... if i see something in the store that i like (and it fits), i'm going to buy it... :o)
I actually agree with you on the shorts thing. But, I think that anyone wears shorts over the age of say 15 is probably stretching it. Unless their legs are perfect! The solution, skirts. They make your legs look way better and you can where them with anything you where shorts with and if you are modest, wear your shorts underneath!
I can empathize with the upper arm woes - even when I am at my thinnest, I rarely feel comfortable in sleeveless shirts, but I think that is just my family's genetic body type. My sisters are thin and they work out a lot and they still have bigger-than-model-sized upper arms - no Angelina Jolie arms in our family.
I wanted to reassure you that your flabby upper arms will firm up - I used to worry that even if I lost the weight, I'd have so much extra skin that I'd still look terrible. You are young - it might take a few months after you've lost the pounds, but you will firm up.
Congrats on your success - keep up the good work!
Oh God....SO agree with you!
I have to go back and read your archives!
when I turned 40 I am 44 now.. I got a very different attitude on my birthday.. it was like a graduation of sorts.. yes I am still OBESE.. i was more OBESE back then.. but something dawned on me... why should I suffer... I totally relate to what FINDINGONEDERLAND is talking about... Somewhere along the way you have to get out of your comfort zone.. now I dont mean run around in a bikini.. I mean be comfortable in the heat... where a tee shirt with cap sleeves... I can relate to the tank and spagetti strap shirts.. I wear a tank from time to time.. I am not that big on shorts.. but I do wear a swim suit I have a feeling though.. your being comfortable days are moving closer and closer to u.. much much luck..
The "bat wing" arms are a family curse of mine--I've stopped caring so much over the years and do a few tricep dips every now and then, not that it will ever help! Today I walked through a very fancy mall filled with really awesome cute clothes, none of which I would possibly try to squeeze my fat ass into. It made me wish I could walk through that mall every day for inspiration.
I can't remember when I wore sleeveless last - but it has to be at least over 30 years. I'll settle for being able to wear a reasonable size pair of jeans instead of all elastic band pants. :) Lady Rose
My arms are my least favourite part of my body. I think they are flabby and gross. I haven't worn sleeveless shirts since I was a kid.
I'm in the process of losing weight myself. Maybe someday I'll wear one again.
BTW, I'm liking your blog. :) I'll be back.
I love wearing the old navy tanks even though my arms aren't slender by no means.... however, I have not worn shorts in about 3 years!
What a great idea for a blog, all the things you hate about being fat! I have about 100 reasons too. lol
It is so sad to see this kind of self-hatred. The key to freedom in clothing isn't acheiving some artificial body ideal -- it's acheiving the sense of self-worth that makes you able to accept the beauty of your body as it is.
OK I have to defend myself Erin. I do not have self-hatred! In fact, I really love myself!! I'm mean serious, who wants to see a large woman in skimpy clothing? I don't care how comfortable you are with your body, the public really doesn't want to see it. Sorry, but that the facts. And because of this ridicule, it makes me uncomfortable. I love skimpy tops and shortie shorts, but I'm not comfortable in them at my current weight. That doesn't mean I suffer from self-loathing. I'm looking forward to showing off my bod in teeny tiny clothes someday. So I'm getting healthy and trying back to a more normal size. But no means and I striving to achieve some artificial body ideal! I mean, my goal weight is 180 and I'm 5'6", is this an unrealistic ideal? I'm just sayin'.
I'd avoid linen too. That ones a killer for humps and bumps.
Bin liners all round?
Ok, I get it, I understand your feelings and your point, and maybe it's just cause I'm hormonal, but I was also a little irritated (sorry) I wouldn't show my belly to the world because I'm just uncomfortable doing it, and I probably would feel odd if I was thin too. (just speculation), and I don't wear shorts because of the way they ride up my legs, not because of how my legs look. But for the sleevless shirts. I cut the sleeves off an old t-shirt to wear to the gym. And just the other day it was hot so I rolled my t-shirt sleeves up and bared my fat arms, wings and all. And I was ok with it. I've tried to never let my body stop me from being comfortable or having fun. Have a great day. :^)
i used to ban sleeveless shirts because of my fat arms, up until I was pregnant and was miserable in the heat so I decided to start wearing them. I still wear them but I always leave my long hair down to kind of cover them up, lol! But now I figure, I'm hot, I wanna be comfortable, if people dont like it, they dont have to look!
"I look forward to the days of no banned clothing. Days when I can look into my closet and say, "What do I WANT to wear today?", and not "What CAN I wear today that won't make me look fat?" I know as long as I keep at it, someday will come sooner than I think! I can't wait!"
I smiled when I read this because that was how I thought before I lsot weight. And I have to say...that day will come and it will dawn on you that that's how you dress now and you'll grin like a fool. I know I did.
Hellz yeah! I can really relate here. Im one of those people who is a (not so) proud pear shape and when it comes to waring shorts I feel really, really uncomfortable. Im always the person whos still in jeans and a baggy tee. Its actually kinda embarassing. One day though ... one day It shall all come off. Peace!
- Alex
Agreed! And now that this hellish hot weather is closing in around NY, I ask...no I beg to know where I can arm (no pun intended) myself with some REAL short-sleeve t-shirts. Not those ghostly cap sleeve t's. I refuse to buy them. Does anyone have a good source for decent t's? They could be v-neck, scoop,etc., just as long as the sleeves are NOT cap. Ugh. Please help.
Just wanted to say, I lost over a hundred pounds or so all over and my arms are just GROSS. I went on a work out binge trying to firm up my arms but the skin would not budge. It just hangs there and it's not even a uniform shape! There are pockets and wrinkles all over my arms. But hey, with all the effort I've been putting into toning up, at least when I go to flex the skin hangs down and shows off some serious musculature at the top. *CRY*
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