7.26.2008

#96 - Going to concerts...

One thing I really hate about being fat is that I simply take up too much space. While everyone around me seems to fit into a nice little package, I'm sitting there like a giant blob. Every time I've gone to a concert or some kind of stadium event I feel totally cramped into my little seat. Clearly seating in these places was designed for the average 160 person. I feel bad about it. I feel bad that my girth hangs over to neighboring seats. I feel like I encroach on my neighbors personal space. So every time I go to a concert or anything I always get an aisle seat, that way I can lean a bit to the side to accommodate my seat mate. Being fat can be so embarrassing. Haven't you ever got on a plane or gone to a concert and seen the look on the persons face sitting next to you? As you walk down the aisle you can see them thinking, "Don't sit by me, don't sit by me..." And then the little frown as you plop down next to them. Embarrassing. I hate that I have to plan ahead just because I'm fat. I've even turned down free tickets to a concert because I knew they weren't aisle seats. Isn't that crazy? Free tickets! But no... too embarrassed to squeeze into the spot. Of course I've done it, that's why I know it's awful. You sit in the middle of the row, futility squeezing your arms together, attempting to take up less space. You can manage to do it, but most of the concert is spent in total discomfort, and by the end of the concert you are totally sore from all the contorting you have done trying to make your body smaller. How sad! I hate being fat!

My quest for a smaller body is chugging along. I'm still losing weight, albeit slowly (which is GOOD!). This time around I'm not racing to lose the weight, cause clearly that has never worked for me in the past. I can lose weight pretty easy, but I'm terrible at keeping it off. I always seem to gain back any weight I've lost plus 10 pounds. Doing this over and over and over again shot me all the way up to 315 pounds at one point. My goals now are very, very small. Eat better, try to move more, and see if I can manage to lose 0.5-1 pound per week (2-4 pound/month). That probably sounds super slow to some of you, but every doctor I've talked to is wicked happy with that slow progress. All the research I've read indicates that the slowest weight loss is the easiest to maintain. Why is that? One reason is the body's set point. Your body gets used to being a certain weight. Say you're 225 pounds. You diet and fast and lose 25 pounds in a couple weeks. Your brain still thinks you should weigh 225 pounds. So basically it's fighting against you, trying desperately to get you back to 225 pounds. It's thinks you're starving. So your weight loss slows, your appetite increases, and low and behold, you gain the weight back within months. There are various technical/medical reasons behind this. I won't get into all of it, but one thing that happens is your body makes a certain amount of insulin based on how much you eat. Insulin is the chemical that breaks down the sugars you eat. So your body is plodding along make a ton of insulin every day since you eat a lot. Then one day you stop eating (or start eating very little). You have less sugar in your bloodstream, but still have the same amount of insulin, too much insulin. What happens? Your blood sugar ends up dropping too low, and you feel hungry, cranky, irritable, and miserable. Don't you love dieting? Over time, your body will start making less insulin, but this is a slow process. Alternatively, if you lose the weight very slowly, you can trick your body. The body adapts VERY slowly to weight fluctuations. Eating a little less over time can help you get through this adaptation phase. This is just one example. Metabolism is pretty complex, but needless to say, it takes slow weight loss for the body to get used to the idea of being smaller. Crash diet and your body will think you are starving and do what ever it can to get you back up to that higher set point weight. So slow down! It's not a race! Eventually, overtime, you can whittle your body down to the point where you'll take up less space. Maybe even to the point where you can comfortably sit in the middle of the row at a concert once again!

32 comments:

Anonymous said...

You wrote ! Finally. I've been waiting for forever. I love this post. I'm going through the same 'fat race' most of the time. I think that I'll take it slow for a bit now ! Thankyou.

Lisa Newton said...

Slow and sure wins the race. Congratulations on your weight loss so far, and from the sound of it, you're definitely on course to win the race...............:)

airlie said...

oh - i so know! I hate even more when they have big seats and you get all confident, only to realize that your seat is in the middle and everyone else is sitting and you have to squeeze past, and put your butt in everyone's faces!

Ook!

Anonymous said...

i went to a concert just last night! so felt a need to comment. i sat in the aisle seat (thank goodness) and my tiny friend was to the right of me. i was thinking about my size and felt bad about it. i was trying to keep more of my body in the aisle and had to ask my friend if she could see the stage past me. ---one of the reasons i hate being fat!!!
i still had a great time though. because my friend is very nonjudgmental about my weight, even though she is tiny and exercises every single day. friends like that are keepers.
thank you for your comment about insulin, i never knew the scientific story behind the body's set point! explains why you lose and gain lose and gain. i'm trying to lose weight more slowly this time again.
good luck to everyone!!!
teresa

Seraph said...

Hate going to even movies for the same reason. I insist that, if we're going, we go to a showing that will be pretty much guaranteed to have a low attendance rate so that I don't inflict my weight on any strangers.

Also, congrats on your weight loss.

MizFit said...

it made me sad that you said y ou take up too much space.

I get what youre saying but it still inexplicable made me sad.

Miz.

George said...

Don't accept being fat.

Cut out grains, dairy, and starchy vegetables.

Eat more protein (a lot more), especial animal sources. Stay away from sugary fruits.

Stick with this type of eating for the rest of your life. Refuse to eat out.

Your goal weight shouldn't be 180 - it should be 140 or less for your height. 180 is still fat, I hope you see this. Screw BMI, its a crappy way to calculate - set yourself up for success with a body fat % of 20% or less.

Good to see you are accomplishing things but you are setting yourself up for failure by thinking that you need to "diet" rather than change your DIET, meaning what you eat regularly.

I suggest you read the book Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes, it might open up your eyes a little.

Susan said...

Good going Kitty! Another reason why losing weight slowly is the way to go is that it helps your mind slowly adjust to eating differently.

But I have to agree with George - I was just looking at your sidebar and wondering why your goal weight was so high. At 180 pounds you would still be overweight.

Jamie said...

I can so relate! I loved this post!

Katly said...

I can totally relate to this. One night I was supposed to go to a resteraunt and I knew they had chairs with arms, but small chairs. So my sister's boyfriend had to ring and tell them to put a normal chair with no arms so I could fit. It was so humiliating but we had to go because it was an engagment dinner. Thanks for the insight into losing weight slowly. I needed to hear it right about now.

Tanya said...

Contrary to the PP's I think 180 sounds like a great goal. What I think people fail to realize is that when you get to that point you will have lost 135 lbs. 135 LBS PEOPLE. And there is nothing saying you can't re-evaluate your goal when you get closer.

Seriously, at this point I've been over 180 lbs for so long that I have NO IDEA how I will look when I get there. I've long been using a number as my goal but I think more than a number I just don't want to buy clothes in the "fat people store".

butterfly said...

Wow... 72 lbs. That is AWESOME!! Congratulations to you!!
I must agree that a slow weight loss is much more effective. A friend of mine has lost 80 lbs in 5 months and sad to say but her arms and body look terrible. Losing so quickly didn't allow the skin to shrink down...

I can totally relate to the concert seating. I too cringed at the thought of "spilling over the sides". I would try to contort my shoulders and make myself as small as possible also.

The bus & subway were my most hated part of my day. I'd want to sit because my feet were killing me, but I wouldn't want to sit down and take a seat and a half. I'd hate sitting next on an aisle seat because half of my a$$ would be hanging off the edge!

It gets better though! I don't have to turn sideways to go through the turnstiles, and my feet don't hurt anymore so I don't mind standing!

Congratulations to you. Your blog is wonderful and I'm totally adding it to my blog roll.

Jenn D. said...

I feel really bad for people that feel awkward for taking up space. So what.

People should work towards health not what size they are. Being thin won't solve all problems.

Sometimes I wonder what sites like these do for teenage girls going through self-hatred if they are stumbled upon while surfing online.

We should be celebrating that we are ALIVE. In many countries just being able to survive is a gift.

lily said...

My neighbor came over to my house and yelled at me over my dog!

I have a dog that I can't keep in my yard. I have tried everything and she always finds a way out. Anyway, this lady comes to my home, knocks on my door and when i open the door she points her finger at me and yells obscenities at me. Apparently my dog was in HER neighbors garbage and then pooped on HER NEIGHBORS LAWN! Why didn't she come and talk to me like a civil human being? Why was she a vicious monster attacking me at my door? I calmly went over to HER NEIGHBORS house where the garbage was and picked up every piece, and the dog poop. I agree that I have that responsibility to clean up after my dog. The one thing I don't agree upon is someone coming to my house and screaming in my face about something I didn't know about. Is anyone out there been blessed with a psyco-neighbor?
I don't think anyone remembers the golden rule...Do unto others as you would want done unto you!
I sent them a lovely card from this site I found...www.URAJerk.com

Mimosa Faith said...

Hey,
I just found your blog and I want to let you know I am really rooting for you. I am on my own weight loss journey as well. You can check out my blog at www.yourfriendinireland.blogspot.com !

Prayen 4 U!
Mimosa Faith

soggywetlettuceleaf said...

OH. MY. GOD.

That is me!! I think that too!! Someone else thinks the same as me!! *starts to hyperventilate*

Sorry for the over enthusiasm, its just that i NEVER thought others would think the same about the concert thing - the plane thing, yeah i get that and i think others would as well.

I went to one last year and i thought - you know what i'll emotionally blackmail my friends into going to standing room so after much bribery involving baking brownies and buying beer - there we are standing, chilling, music is good, drinking beer... BUT.... and, by jove, there's always a but!

Not only am of the hefty persuasion - i'm rather freaking tall for a female. So after the break half way through these girls politely ask - we can't see through you, you're in our way, can you move?'
bless them.

I kindly pointed out they could go in front of me but the chap there was only an inch shorter and i didn't think they'd be able to see him either.

God. That made me so angry and my friends just didn't understand - i'd stood up to avoid issues with overspill and angry people in the seating!

Well. Mini-rant over - you blog rocks so i think i shall begin stalking it if you don't mind - i've tagged you on my blog - keep it up, i'm looking forward to the next update

soggy wet lettuce

Adam Randal Chen said...

I stumbled upon your blog while I was searching up things on lowering body fat on google. I was once in your situation, but with determination, persistence, and drive, I was able to overcome obesity. I support you on your goal towards weight loss. I know first hand how it feels to be fat. I once went through the same struggles and emotional pains. However, the one that kept me going was hope of one day, being free of obesity.

I look forward to hearing more about your journey.

elife said...

Hi, just found your blog - it's great! Totally relate to this post. CONGRATULATIONS on the 72 pounds lost!!

dinah34 said...

congrats on your weight loss!

i just found your blog too. :) it looks great.

Tom (Purzelpfund.de) said...

You are absolutely right with your points for the slow weight reduction. An weight lost in a quick way will be back on one's hips before one can say "oops".

Hide those cookies said...

I understand what you mean about seats at concerts. Last month I went to see a show in NYC and forget it! The person with me said, "I'm normal and this is uncomfortable for me; I can't imagine what it must be like for you." Some people should wear a muzzle. Her rudeness was freeing, though. I stopped trying to take up less space and redirected my extra girth in her direction. In my opinion, ignorance should have a hefty price tag.

Dora said...

What a great posting! Keep up the great work -- sounds like you're off to a great start!

Jem said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jem said...

I'd just like to say that I love this post! I think a lot of people can relate to you in their own 'fat races'. I know I certainly could! I totally understand what you mena about those seats at the concerts. They are so uncomfortable and I am always so self concious of other people looking at me.
Thankyou!

Regards
JWard

http://www.fastfatlossproductreviews.blogspot.com

slimmerjim said...

Karaoke, I couldn't agree with you more about the slow weight loss being the best kind! Great job, keep going! Also, maybe I missed it, what is BMI? You know, your story was reminding me of a flight I took once with a small commercial airline. One heavy passenger actually remained standing throughout all of the flight (except for takeoff and landing). He looked lost, pacing up and down the aisle, and it was clear that he was doing it so as not to have to try to squeeze into the airline seat. Last year, I shed a good amount of weight, and taking airplane rides became a real pleasure.

Miss Milo said...

What a great post... I can really relate. Isn't it such a shame that we avoid so many fun activities just because of the logistics of being overweight?

Interesting info about insulin, too. Thank you!

Anonymous said...

kitty, have you given up on us...?

Anonymous said...

Hello-o-o-o? Where have you been lately?

julie said...

Don't listen to George. Eliminating a whole food group is not a good idea. What's with this no-carb people and their evangelism? I think you're doing great, and you sound like you're doing it exactly right. I'm at 180, right on the line between overweight and obese, and I fit into seats, but I am still big. It's all looks in my case, my health numbers are great and I exercise all the time.

Melanie said...

"Being thin won't solve all problems."

This is SOOOO true! I have been much much thinner than I am now and it solved nothing.

And I don't think you should feel bad for taking up space either! Who cares. You have a right to be here. If someone else has a problem with it, too bad.

Herbalife USA said...

Ever tried flying Air Asia I think you have to have size one kids to be able to fly with them!! That is the worst flying for hours on end in a skinny little seat...

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