5.16.2007

#65 - Hygiene

OK this is going to be the TMI post of all TMI posts (for those that don't know - TMI = too much information). But, you know, it really is an issue, so I gotta talk about - I just can't hold back. As a fat person, maintaining good hygiene can be a problem. Yuck, I know. But it's true. I think one problem is because we carry around all this extra weight and our bodies have to work extra hard - so we sweat a lot more than normal people. I find that if I do a little extra activity, I end up mopping my forehead of sweat, my hair ends up greasy, and I look like a mess. I end up stinky sweaty by days end. But that's only the tip of the iceberg. Getting clean can be a problem too. When I was at my heaviest, I actually had a hard time reaching all my nooks and crannies, that is without pulling a muscle going into some kind of contortionist pose. I actually had to strain to reach everything in the shower. I hated that! Luckily with a little weight gone, this isn't an issue anymore, thank God. Even all the other girly things I used to do when I was thin got tough as a big fat chick. Shaving my legs was hard, because my big gut prevented me from bending over easily. And painting my toe nails, forget about it! I could barely touch my toes let alone paint them. Which also meant giving myself good pedicures, you know getting rid of all the callouses on my feet, just didn't happen when I was at my fattest. At my heaviest I felt like a sweaty, dirty, unkempt blob. That is no way to feel like a lady! I never ever felt feminine. I'm now down 44 pounds, and I'm just now starting to feel girly again. I'm finally getting to do all the pretty primping I loved to do. It's really a cycle you know. If you can maintain cleanliness, you start to feel better about yourself, then you start to do more good things for yourself, which makes you feel better and better, and you end up looking better and better. Of course the opposite is true too. When I was really fat and not at my cleanest, I felt awful about myself, which meant I didn't really do much to keep up my appearance. I didn't really do my hair, I didn't put on any makeup, I really didn't care what clothes I wore. I just didn't care. I swear, being fat makes you feel bad, which just makes you fatter and fatter. That sucks!

There is another issue that fits into this good hygiene category, and I warn you..... TMI TMI TMI!!! Like I said before, when you are really heavy it's hard to reach all those nooks and crannies in the shower... well... imagine other reasons you need to reach down there. I found that at my highest weight I had a hard time wiping my ass. Don't get me wrong, I was always clean and fresh (or so I hoped), but it took an awful lot of twisting and stretching and straining to get the job done. Eeewww, I know! But like I said, this is an issue for a lot of fat people, another big reason I hate about being fat, so I have to put it out there and talk about it. I never needed it, but I've even seen products for the morbidly obese to help aid them in cleaning the hard to reach spots, basically tp on a stick. When I think about that, it makes me really sad.

Some people harshly judge fat folks for being dirty, stinky slobs. And many wonder why would someone ever let themselves get that way. I don't know the answer to that. Why did we let ourselves get so fat, fat to the point where it becomes sad? I don't how I got here, I don't why I couldn't see it or stop myself. But now I'm aware and I have all of these reasons that help fuel my drive to become healthy again. I never ever ever want to say again that I have a hard time reaching my ass. Oh my God! I think I have to end this post now, I have this sudden urge to go take a shower!

21 comments:

Samantha said...

Wow! Your honesty is gripping. I think that it takes a lot of bravery to put this kind of thing out there. It is never talked about, you know? It is in the closets of everyones shame. Thin people don't want to talk about this or even know this and people with weight issues sure don't want to admit to these things. I don't blame them.
I think that weight is like every other addiction. Rock bottom is different for everyone. For some rock bottom is lying in a ditch with a bottle of gin and 4 teeth knocked out for others it is 200, 300, or 400 lbs.
Sadly, people with weight issues or often judged more harshly than other addiction problems.
You are amazing! Keep up the good work!!

Brigitte said...

Thank you for sharing, it takes a lot of guts( no pun intended) to talk about those things. I suffered the same way. I understand not being able to reach my toes but I never get the one about having a hard time reaching my ass. :)
Keep up the good work.
I hope you post pictures of your progress.

Spunk said...

Maybe TMI for some people, but AMEN! I can totally relate. I HATE how much I sweat and the fact the only way my toes are getting painted (and not ending up a mess) is if someone else does it. Rock on!

dkaz said...

Thanks for actually writing about what I am feeling. Until someone has actually lived it, it is hard to understand. I could never, ever say what you have to any of my friends or family - too humiliating. Plus, if I ever got the courage to share some of this, I am sure that the first thing they would say is "Well, why don't you just lose weight, then?" Easy, right? Keep up your good work and have a wonderful birthday!

needsleepbadly said...

I just stumbled upon your blog recently...and I wanted to say to keep up the great work. Congrats on the weight loss! You're an inspiration!

Denise said...

Amen and I can totally relate to everything you've said. Of course, I'm still at my "starting weight" so it's just my day-to-day, but I've lost and gained 100 pounds several times, so I remember what it's like to be an "after", too.

Carwyn said...

Thanks for addressing this issue so honestly! At 5 ft 4 ins and 215 lbs, the perspiration thing drives me up the wall. 20 minutes' light housework and I'm standing in a puddle. It's not only a nuisance, it can be dangerous - as I have to take a diuretic to help keep my blood pressure under control, I find it hellishly easy to get dehydrated. So all you guys out there with the same problem: keep drinking water!

Cyn said...

So happy to have found your blog! I am loving the honest of your writing! I was talking to my bf the other day about putting baby powder in all my nooks and crannies! Ugh the things we go thru!

marie said...

the sweat & nooks and crannies are recipes for disaster! i was plagued with horrible, oozing rashes for the longest time because of it. i totally get where you're coming from.

thealphafry said...

my hygiene kinda sucks for being a skinny person. i'm somewhat ashamed that i probably don't shower enough or "forget" to shower. at my worse, i only shower maybe 3x a week rather than every day like most normal people or every other day.. but i am kinda proud of callouses on my feet and not having "girly" feet. It shows where i've been, and that I run and do karate and am not afraid to have ugly feet. :P

Kery said...

TMI for sure ^^ But I bet it's the kind of things many people don't tend to think about, and that still deserve to be told. I haven't had those problems myself, but I understand the part of not taking care of oneself because our bodies aren't great, therefore it becomes less and less pleasant to take care of ourselves, and... we just let it slip. (Put 20 more lbs on me and I already fail to see the point on applying make-up, getting a nice haircut, etc; I can only imagine that it gets only worse, never better. :/)

And I'm glad I've stumbled upon your blog. I haven't read many entries yet, but so far I sure like your way of writing.

Anonymous said...

I saw pictures of those tp on a stick things and said I hope I don't ever need one of those. I can totally relate to the asswipe contortions, though. I was also putting off cutting my toenails very often.
I know how I got fat, it's because I was so hungry all the time. Luckily I found out why and and was able to lose some of it without going insane and giving up again.

Lisa said...

Amen! I can totally relate to the sweating problems. I'm the same way. It is frustrating and very sad to me. I used to wear makeup every day and always fixed my hair, but now that I'm 100 lbs. overweight I've pushed those things aside. It just doesn't make sense for me to put the makeup on, just to sweat it off at the first little bit of exhertion. Same with the hairdo's. If I get too hot, it immediately lays flat on my head. I am so glad that I found your blog because you write about so many things that pertain to me too. It helps to know that I'm not the only person out there who feels the same about these things.

jneimark said...

You should be commended for your honesty. You have to let go of the "embarrasment factor" to allow yourself to change. It sounds like you are on your way. Weight loss is a difficult journey ( I recently lost 76 pounds)... Although my own journey started with a very bad undiagnosed illness, throughout my transformation, I have gained more and more confidence - which translates to better mental health. Something I beleive is key (and primary over physical health). Keep moving forward and don't look back (except at old photos to remind yourself where you will neve go again:) In a recent post of my own, I wrote about my four year olds profound statement "you can never give up".

Regards,

Josh

http://joshneimark.blogspot.com

Jan B said...

You are absolutely right. I have been there too. It is hard, uncomfortable and depressing. I would take baths because at least I knew something would get clean.

It's hard to come face to face with this stuff, but it's that awareness that changes us.

Keep writing, you are an inspiration.

Anonymous said...

A teensy bit unrelated, but there are things called "portable bidets" that just about anyone can hook up.. it takes like 20 minutes, and costs around 30 bucks. It takes care of business, let's just say. You don't need any special stuff.. just a toilet, hehe. :o)

Loved by Some said...

I can totally relate! You are braver than me for speaking out about fat hygiene. On another note, the next time someone asks how a person can allow themself to get this way, as them why does an alcholic get drunk, or a smoker light up?

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Anonymous said...

I got some very good information from my GYN at the last visit. I have a roll of fat that hangs down from my stomach from where I lost weight. She looked at it and I told her I used cornstarch there to help absorb moisture. She said it was a good idea but she knew something better! She told me to use Lotrimin or some athletes foot medication on there a couple times a day after I washed the area and it would clear the rash up! It does work.

Jane said...

Bless you for sharing. I was looking on the internet for some reason to keep living. I feel so bad, so ashamed. I know my husband finds me repulsive and all that has done is made me feel worse. I don't feel inspired to lose weight because my heart is broken and I spend most my time in bed now as nothing much interests me. I don't like myself, I don't blame him for his affairs but all it has made me eat more I guess to fill the emptiness. I am ill as well as when I was conidered too large for a bone scan machine and sent home, I knew it was basically all over and hope was really gone. My knees are shot and the Dr has made it clear I won't get any help or knee replacements until I lose 100 pounds. I know I can't so why keep pretending? I pray for aquick heart attack so the pain can end.

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