3.29.2007

#60 - Blaming everything on my weight

So sorry. It has been ages since I posted. I have been very wrapped up in the land of alternate reality, namely Second Life. Ever heard of it? So what is it? To quote them, "Second Life is a 3-D virtual world entirely built and owned by its residents." So what does that mean? Maybe you've read about it or saw it featured on the Today show. Is it a game? Is it like World of Warcraft? Is it a chat program? Is it like the SIMs? Well... sort of. Read this article for more info, there's way too much for me to explain here.

Second Life is so much more than just a game, it's truly a second life. Everyone can sign up for basic account for free and become a "resident". In this world you create your alter ego, "in world" as they say, its called your avatar. So being the tech savvy chick I am, I signed right up and got to work on creating my avatar. Hmm. What should my avatar look like? Do I stick with my real world appearance or go all out designing my dream-world alter ego? It's my second life, right? I went with the latter, creating an avatar that has an uncanny resemblance to Lara Croft Tomb Raider - the vision I hold of myself at my ideal weight.


With my sexy alter ego raring to go, I headed out into Second Life. I started out wandering about, exploring the land, trying to figure out what to do. I found my way to a beautiful island, where everyone was laying out at the beach, enjoying the shining sun. I put on my bikini and joined the fun. The graphics in Second Life (SL) are amazing. Sure it's a bit cartoonish, but the residents are creating more and more realistic things everyday. I sat on the beach watching the waves roll in, listening to the breeze blow through the swaying palms, overhearing people play in the surf. This was truly paradise. I was sitting at my computer, yet I really felt transported to another world. This was a best mini vacation I had had in years. I was getting hooked on this SL lifestyle. I kept wandering around finding more fun and interesting things to do. A big part of the world is interacting with other people. As I wandered around I found that everyone I chatted with was EXTREMELY friendly. Everyone seems eager to help each other figure things out, like how do I use the program or where can I get new clothes for my avatar or what is there to do. I think the friendly people of the world are totally over-represented in SL. Surprisingly there seems to be many people from all over the world. Being from the US, I was expecting it to mostly be Americans, I was wrong. I've talked with people from the UK, France, Italy, Germany, Australia, the Netherlands, and China (to name a few). In fact, I don't think I've met anyone from the US yet.

Does this alternate reality sound too good to be true? Maybe. Everything is owned by the residents, so things can get pretty wild. Imagine a world with no rules. This environment really brings out the best and worst in people. You must have your blinders on if you're abject to the adult industry. SL is riddled with escorts, strippers, porn, and sex, but it's pretty easy to avoid it if you want to. One thing I've found is that it's easy to be brave in SL, no one knows who you really are, right? Complete anonymity. I surprised myself and ended up working as a dancer in a bar for a bit, earning a little bit of money (the world has it's own currency that you can buy with $USD or get a job and earn it like real life - the exchange rate rocks, so you get a lot for your buck). When in my real life would I ever dance in a bar? Never! But it was fun! I was surprised. I find I'm doing things here I would never do in my real life. It's so much fun!

The world is organized into islands. It's easy to get around because you can teleport to specific places with the touch of a button. Wouldn't that be nice? The islands are owned and run by the residents, often having some kind of theme. They have shopping malls, night clubs, casinos, race tracks, island resorts, you name it. The themes can get a bit extreme though. There are even Goth lands, where everyone is dressed in black and acts accordingly. They have islands with role playing, where people dress up and act out some scenario like Medieval times or ballroom dancing. I've seen groups where everyone pretends to be vampires. If you can think it up, you can probably find it. There is something here for everyone. Since it's a resident run world, anything goes. You can even get in on the action and buy an island for yourself. But it will cost you. It's about $1700 US to buy one these islands. Ouch! Don't think I'll be buying land anytime soon. But here's the up side - you can rent. I've done just that. I rented a beach front bungalow in my Second Life all for the cost of... about $1.50 a week. Not bad for my own little slice of paradise, huh? Why would I want to rent a house? I don't know, it's a fun little escape from my real life. I've been busy decorating my little home with things like a hot tub and fancy stereo equipment. All the things I don't have in real life.

So what on Earth does this have to do with reason #60 - I hate blaming everything on my weight? A lot actually. In the real world, I'm a fat chick. No getting around that. I tend to blame all of my problems on my weight. I can't find a man because I'm fat. I can't do activities like I used to because I'm fat. I don't socialize because I'm fat. I think everything that's wrong with me is because I'm fat. But is that true? Would I truly be completely happy if I was thin? Would all of my problems miraculously vanish as I approach my ideal weight? I don't know, I don't think so. With SL I'm able to get a glimpse from the other side, I guess it's a bit of an experiment you might say. In SL, I'm able to live as a thin person. No one there knows I'm fat. Everyone thinks I'm this beautiful, skinny, outgoing woman. So does this mean I'm completely happy in my SL? Nope, not really. It's great, but I still get jealous when my SL boyfriend (yes, I have an SL boyfriend - lol) talks to other girls. I feel left out when I'm not a part of the conversation around me. Sometimes in SL I even feel a bit lonely because I'm just not the type to walk up to total strangers and start a conversation. Even my skinny alter ego has problems. What has my Second Life taught me? No matter what size I am I will always have problems. No one leads a charmed life. How many skinny girls have you met that are completely happy with their bodies? Not many I'm sure. Everyone is unhappy about something, we just need to work at it, get over our hangups and phobias. I can't keep blaming every one of my problems on my weight. I just have to get out there and live my life, head held high. No one's life is perfect, whether it be your real life or your Second Life. I actually think my Second Life is helping me in my real life, it's really motivating me to keep up the healthy lifestyle. For one thing it's helping me snack less, I've shifted from couch potato to mouse potato. I eat in front of the TV, but I never eat at the computer. Second Life is also making me realize that people truly like me when they get to know me - I never thought I could be this popular. It's even giving me more confidence in my real life. I guess it just gives me a platform to try things out before I do them in real life. I'm having so much fun pretending to be skinny! I just think of it as practice for when I hit my goal weight! Look out Lara Croft, here I come.

A word of caution: SL can be quite addicting. I've heard of some people spending up to 24 hours straight online. That's not good. Your Second Life should not get in the way of your real life, ever. Your Second Life should not become your only life. But if you ever wanted to walk in someone else's shoes, here's your chance.

14 comments:

Kat E said...

Lots of great things about this post. Enjoyed your description of SL (though you know I'm going to grill you about it more next time I see you!). But you made some great points about not assuming that being thin makes you automatically happy. I've known tons of thin, pretty, miserable/completely insecure women. Being healthy and comfortable in your own skin is what counts. I'm still working on those! Maybe I need to come work with you in the SL bar ;)

honib1 said...

Very interesting post... I have never heard of SL.. will check that out..

Susan said...

SL sounds like fun! As you say, you can try out different personnas there.

As for whether your life would be different if you were thin, you probably know this already because you've been there, but it will be a *a lot* better. When I finally became thin after being overweight or obese my entire life, I was *shocked* at how much nicer and more pleasant everyone I deal with was towards me, I no longer feel I need to prove myself at work, and men flirt with me a lot more. Looking back, life would have been a lot easier if I'd been thin all along.

Kitty, I'm pleased that you're enjoying your virtual life, but don't let it come before your workout time!

skinnyontheinside said...

I think that I must check this out...I am not much of a computer person, but it sounds interesting.

Anonymous said...

You made a good point. Did you happen to see the article in People magazine this week about women who have had gastric bypass. Well, they have addition transfer. They became alcoholics, spendaholics, smokers, sexaholics etc. They traded their addiction to food for other vices. So I guess life is not always perfect....we jut try to make it better by getting healthier.

AFS said...

Check this link out. Fat Rant. It is awesome and it sort of goes along with some of what you said in this post.

Alex said...

OK, I dunno if youre one of those people who get irked at others commenting on older blog posts but your little rant about Second life was so interesting that I couldnt help but put in my two piece.

I have only heard of Second Life vaguely, but I am very familiar with video games and massive multiplayer online roleplay games. Things like World of Warcraft and the like. I fully agree with your footnote about these almost alternate reality games being very addictive. THey almost create a shell for people to sink into. Its almost disturbing.

Ouch. Another brainblock. Thanks for your time Kitty.

- Alex

Anonymous said...

i tried out second life recently and i hated it! i was suprised as im an uber-nerd but i thought it was boring. Like playing sims but with no game element.

Fra said...

You are SO my new guru. Everything you type, I agree with and is SO clever and to the point! LOVEYOURBLOGGGG

Buy Tamiflu said...

It seems to me that you've found a good way to learn yourself better by the use of SL

Anonymous said...

I'm about 3 years late, but had to comment anyway :)
I'm also a SL fan, started playing around sept 2007. Got quite addicted for a while, like you said, it's very easy to do. I still play now, but now i'm more into the creative side. I build prefab homes, have done for a while now, and have actually sold quite a few and am making some RL money out of it finally. I'm actually using that money to fun my weight loss program lol. Anyway, didn't have anything poingnant to say, just wanted to comment. Wish I knew your avi name and I could say hi :)

Asian Beauty said...

I think this is an excellent blog. I came across it on Yahoo I will come back again. Money and liberty is the best way to change you can be rich and help others..Vietnamese Women for Marriage

Jerome Samson said...

Hi Everyone,This was how me and my Boyfriend became VAMPIRES. I got a guy from the internet called Mr. Barry who was a VAMPIRE so i told him that me and my boyfriend would love to become VAMPIRES so he asked me of my Name ,Country, Age ,State , address and in the next 3 days i got the blood sample through the DHL which me and my boyfriend took in the blood into our body and in the next 30 minutes we turned into a VAMPIRE so if you are interested in becoming a VAMPIRE. First: Vampires is not at all like in the movies or books, Sure. I understand. You are young; you have the whole world open to you. You can be anything that you choose if you apply yourself and try hard to work toward that goal. But being a vampire is not what it seems like. It's a life full of good, and amazing things. We are as human as you are.. It's not what you are that counts, but how you choose to be. Do you want a life full of interesting things? Do you want to have power and influence over others? To be charming and desirable? To have wealth, health, and longevity? contact the vampires creed today via email: Richvampirekindom@gmail.com

Blogger said...

I've just downloaded iStripper, so I can have the hottest virtual strippers on my desktop.