1.28.2007

#46 - I hate that my favorite TV channel is Food TV

As a fat person I find myself curiously drawn to the Food channel when I turn on the TV. Why is that? Am I THAT obsessed with food? I consider myself a bit of an aspiring chef/baker, so is it just my hobby? I don't know. What I do know is that I'm always watching food-related programming lately. The Barefoot Contessa, Rachel Ray, Giada De Laurentiis, Ace of Cakes, Michael Chiarello, Nigella, Paula, and Tyler, I love them all. I've been trying really hard not to eat bad-for-me foods, so maybe I'm trying to fill the void with visual food images. It seems so cliche though, the fat girl watches a lot of the food channel. I hate that! I have a couple skinny friends that LOVE watching the food channel, and I'm SURE that they are not feeling guilty about it. So why should I? And if it is helping me to not eat so much, then I should be happy, right? But I'm not, I still feel guilty that I like watching it so much. I guess it's because I hate being a stereotype (that is, fat gal watching food). Does anyone see me watching these shows? No, it's just me. So it's not like I'm worried about what other people will think. I guess I'm just so programmed to think that fat people shouldn't think about food all the time. I suppose that's where all the guilt comes from. I guess I just need to get over it, right? But on the flip side, I suppose being an over eater (in other words a food addict) is somewhat like being an alcoholic. Would it be healthy for an alcoholic to watch shows about the liquor manufacturing business or a tour of the Guinness factory? I don't know, maybe that's an extreme example, but it's sort of similar. If we're struggling with an addiction, is it healthy to surround yourself with images of the very thing that caused your addiction? My gut tells me I should try to find another hobby. I sometimes knit to avoid watching TV, but somehow I always manage to find my way back to Food TV. Ugh! Why can't my favorite channel be Animal Planet or Discovery or TLC? Anything but the Food channel!

8 comments:

Megan, The Former Gymnast said...

I saw someone at my gym today, watching food network on the treadmill. I found it interesting. I had to look away from my tv on my elliptical machine, every time a food commerical came on!

Kat E said...

If you're knitting (instead of eating) while watching the Food channel, I see no problem :) I think in your case you are genuinely interested in cooking/baking, which is not the same thing as just sitting there salivating over the images. So no need to feel bad, IMO :)

Laura said...

I was going to suggest what kat e too! I am fat, and one of the thing sthat I know is that I rarely savor my food and the more I learn about it, the more caring I am about it--and me.

christie said...

I really don't think it means anything that you watch the food channel. I love food and I'm fat, but I don't like to cook at all, and I have no interest in the food channel. To me I think this means it is your HOBBY, you like to cook - that's great! Don't feel bad about it!!

Christie
http://letsseewhathappens1.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

I love Paula Deen, but I think we all know how she feels about the food she's cookin' and eatin'. When the eyes roll to the back of the head when she bites down on the fried chicken or BBQ.

I've decided that, in my opinion, Food TV is often porn for the obese. Especially when the likelihood of me actually cooking it is only about 10%.

Esther said...

I have to admit that I love food network too. But I mean, come on! Ace of Cakes is the best show ever. And I have a major crush on Duff Goldman. So it's like cake art and eye candy in the same show. Score!

hella adequate said...

Insightful!

Heather said...

A: it may be helpful for you to seek mental/behavioral health counceling for some of your insecurities. (goodness knows we all have them but that really helped me)

B: I used to be able to stare out the window at the gym and see the Marie Calendar's (complete with giant pie banner) across the street from the cardio room. From the weight room....Krispy Kreme. Yeah, that is real motivating. Staring at meat heads next to you and doughnuts across the street....