#46 - I hate that my favorite TV channel is Food TV
As a fat person I find myself curiously drawn to the Food channel when I turn on the TV. Why is that? Am I THAT obsessed with food? I consider myself a bit of an aspiring chef/baker, so is it just my hobby? I don't know. What I do know is that I'm always watching food-related programming lately. The Barefoot Contessa, Rachel Ray, Giada De Laurentiis, Ace of Cakes, Michael Chiarello, Nigella, Paula, and Tyler, I love them all. I've been trying really hard not to eat bad-for-me foods, so maybe I'm trying to fill the void with visual food images. It seems so cliche though, the fat girl watches a lot of the food channel. I hate that! I have a couple skinny friends that LOVE watching the food channel, and I'm SURE that they are not feeling guilty about it. So why should I? And if it is helping me to not eat so much, then I should be happy, right? But I'm not, I still feel guilty that I like watching it so much. I guess it's because I hate being a stereotype (that is, fat gal watching food). Does anyone see me watching these shows? No, it's just me. So it's not like I'm worried about what other people will think. I guess I'm just so programmed to think that fat people shouldn't think about food all the time. I suppose that's where all the guilt comes from. I guess I just need to get over it, right? But on the flip side, I suppose being an over eater (in other words a food addict) is somewhat like being an alcoholic. Would it be healthy for an alcoholic to watch shows about the liquor manufacturing business or a tour of the Guinness factory? I don't know, maybe that's an extreme example, but it's sort of similar. If we're struggling with an addiction, is it healthy to surround yourself with images of the very thing that caused your addiction? My gut tells me I should try to find another hobby. I sometimes knit to avoid watching TV, but somehow I always manage to find my way back to Food TV. Ugh! Why can't my favorite channel be Animal Planet or Discovery or TLC? Anything but the Food channel!