8.09.2006

#26 - Spending the equivalent of the GDP of a small nation on diet programs

I don't know HOW much I've spent over the years on powders, pills, exercise regimes, torture devices, and such all intended to help me lose weight - which of course none of them did. It all started when I was in middle school. Apparently I was at the high end of the weight spectrum - meaning I was like 5 pounds overweight - and our family doctor suggested I join a healthy eating and exercise program at a local hospital. This initial suggestion sent me spiraling into a world of diet and exercise torment, into which I would sink a fortune of my income. Initially, my folks footed the bill, but by my 20s I was charging away my life's saving for the promise of a slimmer waistline. What were my favorite wastes of money? Hmmm... Let me think. Recently Susan Powder has been back in the media - remember her - skinny bitch with the GI Jane hairstyle, screaming to stop the insanity? - anyway, her program was a real waste of money...it was basically pamphlets telling you to eat less. Duh! I guess all of the diet programs really do boil down to that though, right? We pay tons of membership fees to be told to eat less. Don't we already know that? Isn't it common sense? Eat less, move more! Duh! But I found myself repeatedly forking out the cash, to pay some talking head that promises to help me lose weight this time. Why will it be any different this time? The outcome is usually the same... Start plan, lose a little, get bored (usually by the insanely strict plan), cheat, quit plan, gain weight, back to square one ready to pay another celebrity for their miracle cure! I think I may be the queen of the diet plans. I think in my 32 years I have lost well over a 1000 pounds (only to regain more and more each time). So where has all my money gone? Let's see...The Weight Loss Clinic (a form of torture in which you are only allowed to consume 800 calories a day and are forced to weigh in EVERY DAY), Jenny Craig (boring premade food), NutriSystem (again, boring premade food), Richard Simmons (gotta love a good cry with Richard and all the fat chicks), Weight Watchers (they might actually be on to something - common sense - but hey, let's pay them too), Stop the Insanity (please, let's stop the insanity, I just can't think of all this waste anymore!). And this was only the programs I've been on! Think of all the cash I burned on pills and powders, bars and shakes! And all the money spent on exercise equipment! It probably does add up to the GDP of a small nation!!! I read somewhere that we spend about $30 billion dollars annually on dieting. $30 billion?!?!?!? Isn't that crazy? Everybody just wants that quick fix, miracle pill to solve their dieting woes! And to think, we could have saved all this money if we just ate less, and moved more.

So I am currently in 'oh Christ I really gotta lose weight now, but shit I hate to diet' mode. Where do you get the inspiration to start a program? Clearly I've done 'em all, and none really worked. So now I must get off my ass and move a little more and eat a little less. Seems so simple, right? Not! It's always the first few weeks that suck ass! But I can't even seem to get past the first day. I feel like I need chocolate, and ice cream, oh yeah, and candy, and bread, and...and...and.... I know once you get past the first couple weeks, a lot of the craving stop, but hey - still having cravings now!!! And I can't seem to break the cycle. Please, someone, stop the insanity!

5 comments:

MITEYMEO said...

I hate the fact that I hate myself for being fat. I can relate with all your posted comments. Good luck to all of us overweight folks who try and re-try to lose!

Kat E said...

hey, at least when we tried Atkins and South Beach, all we really paid for was the book! Actually, I should correct myself...on Atkins I used the website, and with SB, I borrowed your copy of the book (which I may indeed still have)! I know WW has made a couple thousand off me and J, that's for sure...

karaokekitty17 said...

Yeah, but I think of all the times I filled my fridge with fruits and veggies, intending to eat better, only to let them rot away uneaten. It's not just the programs we've paid for, but all of the special foods we never ate!

internet gaga said...

what im doing right now is that im only buying food for like 3 to 4 days, planning my meals including some good portions of fruits and veggies... I don't know if it's helping yet but it has been easier to watch what im eating and i don't end up throwing out a lot of dead vegetables and fruits

Anonymous said...

Hey Karaoke kitty, I haven't read the whole blog yet, but I thought I'd leave you a note. There is something that will help with the cravings. Chromium Polynicotate. It is available as a supplement, helps to regulate blood sugar, and will stop carb and sugar cravings. Good luck.