1.09.2009

#101 – When will I stop being "fat"?

I've been thinking about this, and I wonder what your opinion on this is. At what point will I earn the right to stop calling myself fat? Is it when others stop calling me fat? Is there a weight limit? A BMI limit? Is it some abstract state of mind, only definable by me? Is it all of the above? I don't know. I know I'm definitely still fat. I'm cool with that. I've lost 70 pounds, with about... oh... 80+ more to go. I know this is a process, a journey, but when won't I be fat anymore? Sure I could go by the height and weight charts in the doctor’s office, or calculate my BMI, but that's just a number. I don't know, does it even matter? So many of my reasons why I hate being fat all have to do with me being self conscious... Are those people looking at me because I’m fat? Do men reject me because I'm fat? Do these jeans make me look fat... and are people looking? I CANNOT wear a swim suit in public! Sound familiar? Maybe we lose the fat moniker once our brains stop thinking we're fat. Maybe it's a personal thing for everyone. I think some people think they are totally fat when they are only 5 pounds over weight, while others don't feel fat until they are something like 50 pounds heavier. It's all a state of mind. But I don't know, maybe I'll always be a fat person. I don't mean physically, but mentally. This may be something I struggle with for the rest of my life. I mean what am I expecting to happen? Lose like 150 pounds and then keep it off with no effort? That's not gonna happen. It takes work to lose it and even more work to keep it off. I guess it just means I'll be a recovering fat-a-holic for the rest of my life. One day at time. Geesh, I think I need a 12-step program. Makes me think of that Serenity Prayer. Here's my version for the weight-challenged of the world:

God grant me the serenity
To make good food choices;
Courage to turn away from baked goods;
And energy to exercise daily.
Living healthy one day at a time;
Enjoying my journey;
Accepting that the road to wellness can be hard;
Taking the tools of better eating out into the world
As I should, free from the bad habits of the past;
Trusting that making wise decisions today will pay off tomorrow;
If I surrender to my will
I will not beat myself up in this life and the next
But I will remember that this is a life long journey;
A journey that is well worth every pound lost.

All kidding aside, I think that really sums it up. It will be hard to make good choices everyday, but just take it one day at a time and never give up. And don't beat yourself up so much! Life is hard, weight loss is hard, being healthy takes a lot of time and effort, so any energy you put into it is awesome! Pat yourself on the back! This is a life long journey of many tiny changes to your old habits. I'm a firm believer in making VERY small changes. Clearly all those fad diets didn't work for us. Sure maybe you lost a little weight, but did you keep it off? I think it's all about the little changes. You can sustain little changes forever. An extra glass of water a day? Easy peasy. An extra serving or two of veggies daily? Piece of cake (oh God, don't let me get started on cake... ). OK then... a smaller piece of cake at the next birthday party. Simple. You get the idea. It just takes teenie tiny changes like these, that over time will add up to something significant - a more healthy you! Sure you won't lose weight as fast as that fasting diet, but the changes in your body will last a life time.

Hi. My name is Jenny. And I'm a recovering fat-a-holic.


******

OK, I think I just heard a collective gasp as you all realized that was post number 101. I know what you’re thinking. Is she going to stop posting now?!? Is it over?!? Well, let me reassure you I don’t plan on stopping yet. Why? Well… have I reached my goal yet? No way. Do I still have reasons why I hate being fat? You betcha! So never fear, 101 Reasons I Hate Being Fat will go on. I guess I just need to start over… Another 101 Reasons I Hate Being Fat!

101 comments:

Danielle said...

HI I'm danielle and i am a recovering fat-a-holic... i've lost 50 or so lbs on WW then gained half of it back and i and in a constant struggle to try and become "not fat" although i have no idea what that would feel like.

i love your blog... i have just found it a little while ago and am enjoying going back through all the posts. it is amazing all the things you talk about that i know EXACTLY what you are talkin about!

Mom of Two Boys said...

I think it's great that you are still going to continue to blog!

And that fat-aholic serenity prayer--- Genius!

Thanks for sharing.

Lyn said...

Good to see you! Yours is the first weight loss blog I ever read in my life. I enjoy following along!

I think I will always feel/think "fat," but I hope someday when I get within a "normal BMI" where, when I go to the doctor's, he stops writing "obese" or "large" or "overweight" on my chart, then I won't actually be fat anymore.

Tanya said...

I think it's definately when you stop feeling fat. For me, I think when I can stop shopping in the "fat people store"...

For the record. I'm sucking it up (or is that in?) putting on my swim suit tomorrow and taking my baby to his first swim lesson.

Silvana Tapia said...

Hello Jenny :)

I have been reading your blog for a while and I thought it was high time I commented to tell you how grateful I am for it.

Not only I have found amazing things such as spark people through you, but also, I feel really identified with each one of your posts, so I felt less lonely. When we are overweight, there are many lonely times when we don't know where to find the strenght to change.

As many people I have lost and gained weight many times. When I was in high school I was very thin and when I look at those pictures, it really looks like somebody else. I wanna find that ME again.

Thanks so much for writing this blog and I am really glad you'll start over!

Anonymous said...

Wow!72 pounds, that's awesome! That's something to be very proud of! I'm in the same boat as you. I just started my "lifestyle change" , its only been two weeks. I started going to the gym and hired a personal trainer, Roland.

To be very honest with you, I ask myself everyday when I go to the gym, why am I here? Why do I put myself in so much pain? But when I finish my session , I feel like i accomplished so much. I know it sounds cliche, but so true. Roland Semprie ( my trainer)has his own studio in downtown Toronto( if any of you reading this is from Toronto check out his site www.rolandsemprie.com) working out there is like going to the gym in your own home, plus its not a "high traffic gym" so you don's have to deal with the skinny mini's and the beefcakes showing off all the time...lol! Good luck to you in your weight loss journey, you have come a long way!

Diana said...

Hi Jenny,

eventhough you don´t know me, I owe quite a lot to you and finally wanted to say "thank you" now.
I discovered your site about a year ago after having lost 20 pounds in a year and having gained back 10 pounds over christmas. Well, believe it or not, I read all your posts in one evening and sometimes laughed so hard I almost fell of my chair and other times I felt just incredibly sad, because I knew just exactly how you felt. To make a long story short, you´re writing just resonated so much with me, that I started over again and by now have lost a bit over 60 pounds in a couple of years. I still got about 60 pounds to go and I´m still checking your site every other week and each time I´m glad like a child at christmas when seeing something new from you.

A big thanks to you and all the best in your ongoing quest for health and fitness.

Please keep doing what you do and keep writing!

And btw: That serenity prayer really is genius, I´ll post it in my kitchen :-).

May 2009 be the best year of your life so far!

Love, Diana

Amelia Pontes said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Alexa Von said...

I really think you should turn this into a book! It is a GREAT blog!

Have you read "Life is hard, food is easy" by Linda Spangle? It would be perfect for you to read, so I hope you will give it a shot.

You could also make "101 reasons I want to be be slim/loose weight" etc. now you have finished "101 reasons I hate being fat". You know what you DON'T want now, then you can begin to focus on what you really, really want!

Best Wishes!

Anonymous said...

It's interesting to see how many of us have come to identify being "fat" more as a mindset than an actual weight. When we've been fat our whole lives, we take it on as an identity and not just a number on the scale.

I'm with Amelia - for me, being "fat" is definitely a mindset. After being overweight or obese until I was in my mid-forties, I've lost 90 pounds and kept it off for five years, but inside, I'm still "fat".

Sigh...

And Jenny - congrats on your weight loss so far and your great blog. (I always thought your name really was Kitty!)

Anonymous said...

Well done - 70+ pounds gone!

Looking forward to the next 101 entries : )

Anonymous said...

LOVE your blog. You're posts are very inspirational, and I'm glad to hear that you're writing more entries. ;)

Stephee said...

I'm so glad you'll keep blogging!

FatGirl said...

Good question...when do we stop being fat? I've lost over 65 pounds and am now a size 12/14 and I still feel fat, and my friends have reassured me that while I look a lot better, I am not "not fat" yet. Grrr!

Anonymous said...

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Bella said...

I'm glad to hear that you're going to continue the blog.

I love the way you changed the serenity prayer - very creative, and so true!

Anonymous said...

Jenny,

I love your blog. I found it through Blog Catalog while I was doing some research for one of my own posts. I found myself reading and enjoying many of your posts.

Anyway, I'll make sure to visit back.

Thanks,
CK
a.k.a. The Constant Complainer
Cleveland, OH

Anonymous said...

What a thought provoking post. Great serenity prayer, too.

Seriously, when DO we get to stop calling ourselves fat? I don't even have a marker for that because I hadn't really thought about it until now. Thanks for making me think.

-DonnaLynn in Hawaii, who'd trade tropical for cheesecake any day

Spillin' the truth said...

Hi, I'm Valerie. I'm a recovering fat-a-holic. This is day one (for the thousandth time.)

I enjoyed your post. Can I repost your revamped serenity prayer??

Anonymous said...

Incredible losing 70lbs that is great accomplishment. I give you a lot of props for that. Great blog, I love reading it!

Anonymous said...

I'm fat again after losing 70 pounds with Weight Watcher and getting down to a size 8.

I hated feeling "flimsy."

We had several deaths in the family and a health crisis or two and I felt weak.

I wrapped myself in fat again and I don't even feel sorry. Other than the fact that I can't get off the floor.

Now I want to be strong. I don't care what weight I am. I just want to feel strong.

And not flimsy at the same time.

Why do we all have to fight this? Somehow, it just doesn't seem right.

I can't sign my name.

I need to hide.

Yet again.

D.

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Anonymous said...

Hey,

I just stumbled upon your site, and absolutely love it. I think it's really refreshing to see someone be so real and honest about their weight loss journey. I have a friend who is overweight and I think is in total denial of her situation. She never wants to go out, she never puts effort into her appearance, she will never let us tag pictures of her on facebook, etc. And yet she still tries to portray that she's her old size on her profile (aka. putting up stuff about going to the gym, etc). It really gets to me, and I even gained weight when I was hanging out with her!

I've been fluctuating weight for 3 years now - I know I'm not in your boat per se (my smallest size was a 2 and my largest was a 10 - I'm a 6 now) but I still do feel your pain. It's such a vicious cycle, but I swear, you get through 2 weeks of the diet and you're back on track. But I can really relate to so many things you say about social environments and not feeling as sexy as you used to. It's hard to accept, but when I was a size 2, I got TONS of attention. After I gained weight? Not so much. It's depressing, and I'm only 23. I want to make the most out of these years. Reading your blog is inspiring and real. I appreciate it!

Anonymous said...

x

Anonymous said...

Definitely think that the mental part is the hardest to overcome. When we think of ourselves as a certain way for so long it can be hard to think differently--but this is exactly the push we need to overcome.

jh
bodaweightloss

Anonymous said...

I Love Your Blog! Thanks For Putting Out There All The Things I Knew I Felt And Even Things I Didn't. Awesome Job With The Weight Loss And Always Keeping A Positive Attitude! I Really Admire You And Your Journey!

Anonymous said...

I love your blog and all the links next to it. I am new to blogging and would love to be on your bloggers list.

Anonymous said...

Very funny! I love your version of the serenity prayer.

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Anonymous said...

Dear Jenny, Your blog was so powerful. All of the little changes you talk about are SO powerful. I want to encourage you to dine on as much self-love and self-care as you can every day. THAT is what creates the permanent change you're looking for.

I can really relate to your journey. I lost 100 pounds, and I've kept it off for 20 years. It wasn't easy, but it was really, really worth it.

Please feel free to visit my website and get a copy of my free report “Your Body’s Secret Language.” or if you hit a place that you need a different kind of support, give me a call to talk about an upcoming Body Image Mastery course. But DEFINITELY you can stop calling yourself fat the moment that you're ready to ask that question (right now, dear one).

I will keep you in my prayers.

Love and encouragement, Laura Fenamore
Body Image Mastery Mentor
http://www.LauraFenamore.com

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Natalie C. said...

I have about 50 pounds to lose, and I refuse to call myself "fat" even though parts of me sure are! And I just have a thing with that word. I have taught my kids (ages 6 & 4) not to ever tell someone they are fat, that it hurts their feelings & is rude. When I talk about myself to my kids I say I am working on being healthier by watching what I eat & exercising, but I have never called myself fat to them. I just can not make peace with that word. It's like a swear word to me. And since I'm on my way to becoming more fit, why oh why should I ever become comfortable with the word? Hope that doesn't offend anyone- not meant to, that's just my honest feeling!

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog off and on since Dec. My wife is opening my eyes to my extra 70 LBS, so I've been reading a lot about other people's experiences and I really like your site. Keep em' coming.

Pudgy Gal said...

What a great blog!! I have only read a few of your 101 reasons so far, but I can already see myself in many of your posts. I can't wait to finish ready the remainder of the 101 reasons! Keep up the good work.

Pudgy Gal
http://pudgygal.blogspot.com/

Anonymous said...


you can do it!:)
I BELIEVE. just keep goin.
Godbless!

Anonymous said...

I loved reading this post :-) I suppose I should just say Ditto on most of the other comments - keep em coming.

Anonymous said...

Great job, to interest and encouragement to all those who are trying to lose weight and get healthy.Keep it up..... :)

Shannon said...

Hi!

I'm a FUTURE recovering fat-a-holic! LOL I am about 100 lbs overweight, which means, I weight twice as much as I should. I am going to check out Weight Watchers sometime this week, so wish me luck!

I just wanted to say, I know what you mean about it being in your mind, and always thinking you're fat, even if you're not. I have the feeling, that when I lose the weight, I will still think poorly of myself.

The truth is, I think it's always been me. I mean, ONLY me. Even as a little girl, I thought people (the other kids) were thinking bad things, but I honestly don't remember any of them making any comments or treating me that much differently. Ok, so I was always picked last in gym, but I didn't really want to play ball anyway. LOL

I hope I will remember this, and be able to see myself as I truly am. Fat or thin, and a beautiful person on the inside!

Anonymous said...

hi! I think that it's great that you are voicing out your concerns about this. I have been wondering the same thing regarding when do I stop calling yourself fat? I have always been comfortable with my weight, but my parents weren't until recently when I tried a Detox Diet program. I lost about 20 pounds and feel much better. You should check it out :) (www.taharacenter.com)

The Reeds said...

I hate not being in control of myself or my destiny.

Anonymous said...

Like your attitude, and 70lb weight loss is no small feat, great job! Keep it up, as you know, success doesn't come in pill form, only hard work and perspiration. If we can be of help, we try to help motivate the motivator, and myfitnessplace.com has alway believed that encouragement helps people attain. Go for it!

Anonymous said...

I think you're doing great! I love your blog and determination. With me, it's only me that thinks I'm fat (well until those who've known me a long time see my before pics). I'm not comfortable. When my jeans fit again, I won't feel fat again. Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

I am a fat-a-holic too! I love reading these stories of dieting success. It is so hard to try to be healthy, it is nice to know others are struggling along with me.

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FlyGracefully said...

I think it's time for an update!

Anonymous said...

I just discovered your blog today and I LOVE it already. I can't stop reading!! Thank you thank you thank you!
I am currently working on losing my final 10 pounds to reach my goal weight and it has been a struggle at times for sure! But every time I think of how far I have come, I get all choked up. I have to say that I am WAY PROUD OF MYSELF!
Thank you for your amazing blog and for sharing you heart with us.
Good luck to you. I know you will do it!

H.K. said...

I loved reading your posts and I love the twist on the serenity prayer! I think all of us that are on the journey called weight loss are all recovering "fat-a-holic". I too am tired of being overweight and especially tired of people who tell me, "you look fine." (I know those people are lying because they develop a funny twitch in their eyes )

Anonymous said...

Its really inspiring post here. You should use some diet pills to overcome of it.

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Anonymous said...

Hi I've just stumble across your blog through a Google search. I love it and just added it to my reader. I've been struggling with my weight pretty much all my life and it will be sure an interesting read.

Evelina

Anonymous said...

Hi Jenny,

Glad to hear you plan to keep on posting. I love reading your posts. I am Kelly, and I am also a fat-a-holic. I agree with you 100%. We will have to be careful for the rest of our lives. I found in the past that I gain weight when I stop weighing myself everyday. I also keep a free online food diary at OptimalBodyWeight.com to track what I am eating.

Keep going, and thank you for sharing.

Anonymous said...

That is such a great inspiration to all loosing so much weight. Fantastic work....

superbecca said...

Hi Jenny,

When I started weight watchers I was the exact same starting weight as you. I think I will stop feeling fat when I don't have to think about whether or not a seat belt will fit or if I will look ridiculous doing a sport...
However, I did want to encourage you to put on a bathing suit. I go to aquasize class 4 times a week and I love it. At my highest weight I wasn't comfortable sitting in a bathtub anymore, and that was not fun for me since I love baths and find it so relaxing. The thing about aquasize class that is so comfortable for me is that there are so many different sizes of people there, probably more people bigger than you.

You can do it,
Becca :)

One week direct diet said...

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One week direct diet said...

Well, believe it or not, I read all your posts in one evening and sometimes laughed so hard I almost fell of my chair and other times I felt just incredibly sad, because I knew just exactly how you felt. To make a long story short, you´re writing just resonated so much with me, that I started over again and by now have lost a bit over 60 pounds in a couple of years. I still got about 70 pounds to go and I´m still checking your site every other week and each time I´m glad like a child at Diwali when seeing something new from you.

Delilah said...

Reminders that I'm still fat (after losing 38 lbs. with 25 to go)....I always tell my students to "look at my chubby cheeks" while I'm talking." I always offer to sit in the front seat of a car piling with people, so no one has to worry about me squeezing them in the back seat. I think that I look HUGE in any dress and that the mounds of my belly squish out in anything but a large bag of fabric.

I don't know when it stops. I think the pain I feel from being overweight my entire life is so deep, so profound, that it will take a constant flow of loving kindness towards myself. I am really trying to just take one meal at a time.

Last night was a disaster. But today, although I still feel sick from scarfing so much food, I am forviging myself. That is healing. That will eventually allow myself not to see myself as "fat." This hurts. This whole journey. But we can heal and we can improve our choices bit by bit.

I have 100 days until I get married....I want less of me in that dress...but more than anything I want to commit to life to someone after I love myself more.

Clinton Walker III said...

This is a great blog because you have to admit the problem then solve it. Critiquing yourself helps motivate you as long as you don't beat your self up too much.

brea said...

great article and it is interesting blog. i hope we an be a friend

breaksfat said...

great article, our people often wrong perception about fat. They think ie same someone big its be healty but they didnot know more side effect to they body.

RachelB said...

So glad to hear you are going to keep writing. You have a great blog!

Anonymous said...

You are so amazing, i googled and found you. im 23 and fat. i cant wear a shirt without wearing a sweater. my belly is big. 2 people have asked me if i was pregnant and i was horrified and cried for the rest of the day. i broke a bone in my foot about a year ago and it still hurts to this day so i cant walk for to long. and yes i even took a pregnancy test multiple times "just in case" and nope im not pregnant, just fat. i have stretch marks from my inner thight to my knee so no shorts or skirts for me. i used to be skinny (and never realized it till now. I lost my job and ive been so depressed and eating whenever i think of food. Seeing your blog has made me want to WORK to lose the weight. I know im not alone thanks to you. and reading everyones comments has just up'ed my spirits. my boyfriend always says im not fat but if he told me the truth he knows it would hurt my feelings. "I" know im fat, and i just wanna feel good again. AND NOT HAVE TO WEAR A SWEATER IN THE SUMMER!!!!

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Monirobs said...

Hello! My name is Monica and I am a recovering fat-a-holic... I just found your blog and I just love it! Thank you because you changed my life today ...

Anonymous said...

hey thanks for sharing your blog... youre a girl after my own heart... heres my blog that i started last year then totally forgot about.. now im back on!

before you ask i didnt copy you i only just found your blog and i would love some encouragement :)

thank you and well done
xox

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Deb said...

I stumbled upon your blog years ago, I thought back then: What a self loather! So sad. This time upon visiting your blog again, I just *knew* that you would STILL be a self-loather, still *struggling* against your body, still finding faults and reasons to hate it, still trying desperately to be something that you were never meant to be and most likely are never going to be.

I advise you to read this: http://kateharding.net/2008/12/09/dear-oprah/

Mary said...

Are you self-loathing? No, you just hate being fat. So did I. I made the choice and I went from 240 lbs to 130 lbs in under 5 months. Trust me, you can do it too. Do not ever give up!!!

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steve said...

I know it is hard but focus on the positive. You have lost 70 pounds! That is fantastic! Keep it up!

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I love that poem it was great sorry i had to write it out... wow to you though so much off already. thanks for the blog it is a great read.

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annie said...

i was going thru the same thing you are going thru a year ago until i drop 150lbs in 1 year naturally. After trying deperately to lose weight for over 6 years i found out that there was one thing that was holding me back......my appetite....my friend did many years of research to help me and another friend.....everyone should check out his blog it worth it

blog.360.yahoo.com/damion162001

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Alex said...

nice post thanks. i think i does not really matter how you look like now because you are doing the right things and sooner or later you are going to achieve your goals. just keep it positive.

caring nutritionist said...

Thanks for sharing this!
You delivered your point loud and clear. I agree that people have different views about the state of "being" fat. There are some who think that when they can no longer fit into size zero clothing they are "fat". On the other hand, there are people who don't mind the fact that their weight is more than what it should be.
Anyway, losing weight is not an overnight thing. It should be a healthy process done gradually over time. Find the right people who can help you out.

Phoenix SmartLipo said...

Good for you for becoming a healthier woman.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

I also have been following your blog for awhile, and wanted to comment on how inspirational I find it to be..I also hate-HATE-going to the gym, but I've found that the first week is always the hardest-physically and as well as finding the motivation..
What prompted me to comment on this particular post is this issue of "when will I stop being fat?" I really believe that 90% of being fat is psychological. After months upon months of excrutiating work and discipline, I have gone from about a size 20 to almost a size 10-I am now within the normal BMI and no longer considered "obese" by these charts/BMI measurements(although I am still on the high side of normal). I have found that every step along the way-with every pound and size lost-I always tell myself, just one more size, just 10 more pounds, and I know I will no longer think of myself as fat. However, the exact opposite is true-with every pound lost and every smaller size, I become more conscious of my weight. I like to believe that maybe if I somehow got to a size 4 or 6 (I can dream, right?) that there is no way I could see myself as fat. How true is this though? I look at my friends who are size 18s and 22s, and they are more confident, less concerned with counting calories and getting to the gym than my tiny friends who are size 0s and
2s.
I really do believe it doesn't matter how much weight you lose, or what size you are, you have to be able to change the way you look at yourself instead of feeling like "the fat girl" your entire life..if anyone figures out how to do this, let me know! :)

Lindsay said...

Hey girls, I just wanted to say that I wish I had curves like many of you probably have. I am a size 0-1 and I hate it. I may be the opposite of many of you as I am desperately trying to gain weight. I would give anything to have some wonderful curves and it saddens me that you feel like you have to change the way you are. If you are healthy you are fine.

If it makes you feel any better I see many more cute guys going out with heavier set women then I see with skinny girls like me. If you haven't noticed more guys like bigger girls but I think you have to be confident in your self too. you may have to deal with people calling you fat but I have to deal with people calling me sickly and telling me I need to eat something. The reality is no women is going to be happy with herself until the media stops its obsession with any kind of weight issue, or we just ignore it and find the strength within ourselves to love ourselves.

I hope these words have been of some comfort.

Nurse Practitioner said...

I think you will stop being fat once you realize and take constructive steps towards losing the excess fat from your body. Thanks for this wonderful and insightful posting.

CarlyRichies said...

I agree with whats been said i think its really just about feeling good about yourself to the size you want to be, once your there its just about being motivated with yourself and you'll feel great. Its mental and physical.

just thought i'd also mention something i have been using as a supplement while on my gym routines its actually helped me loose 4 and a half pounds in 5 days as a bigger person this is great for me. I have heard alot about the Acai berry from Amazon brazil which grows under the palms tree but had no idea it was so great for weight loss until i started using it along side my gym routine, Theres more info than i can supply available here http://www.AcaifruitHut.com

its very reasonably priced aswell based on what i used to spend on other products which did not work. 1 Bottle of this lasts a month and even gives me energy boosts i love it. All the best Carly.

Online Pharmacies said...

It is really just a state of mind. A lot of people even if they are not fat manage to find other problems in themselves and also don't fell self-confident. So the only thing that a person must do it's just to bring up a new more simple attitude to his trouble.

KatzPJs said...

Hey..i was just poking around and i found your blog and definitely want to read more. I just wanted to respond on the note about when do we stop being the "fat" person. Personally I have always seen myself the same.."fat" when i was in high school i was active, and i weighed a toned 140lbs (size 14) and i'm 5'7". My friends were all short and size 10 or smaller. I thought i was huge. As time went by i ate myself into the the person i felt like inside. I would gradually gain 100+lbs more. I now look at photos of myself and do not recognize who that person is....which is ironic since she had been living in my thoughts for all of my life..you would think one would recognize her own creation, her own ego...staring back from the mirror.

Thanks for you blog, i look forward to reading more.

- Kat

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Unknown said...

I pray that, too... The serenity prayer. :)

chantel said...

Hello, my name is chantel and I too am trying to lose weight and so far i lost about 2o pounds and I'm so happy about that. You can do it just change the way you eat entirely and you will lose for I have changed the way I eat.

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Fanya said...

Post #101 deserves 101 comments. I've got 15 more lbs before my goal, but GOD those 15lbs are hard to lose, cuz they are the reminder after I've tried and (mostly) kept up with everything else (eat less/healthy, exercise, sleep well etc). It makes me so mad and want to give up and then I found your blog. Now I've got it bookmarked and am reading the past posts. Your posts gives me the scolding/encouragement I need to not give up. thanks.

You stop being fat when you achieve your goals. I started losing weight because being overweight is unhealthy and I want to fit into my old super cute clothe that were still almost new. So my definition of not fat anymore by me is: within the BMI range, preferably the middle and be able to wear Medium from designer lines I like (size 6-10 I think?)

Basically think about why you are fat, and set a measure for each reason and try to achieve them. If you decide to lose weight to look good to others, then I think BMI is a good guideline, so even if they say you are fat, you can say "hey, I'm normal and healthy by the official standard."

Jaydub said...

I just read the first 101 in 3 hours and I agree with EVERYTHING you have written about. The only thing is age. I am 19, 315 pounds, and 5'2". Crazy, right? I honestly don't know if I could ever get to my goal weight of 150. It's so hard to find the motivation to keep going. I feel like I wasted my high school years being fat. I just wish I could turn back time and work on being healthy before I let it get this bad.

Jupiter Falling said...

I am in a position where I cannot shake the fact that I define myself as fat.

I am only 5'5 and a few years ago weighed just under 200 pounds. Don't ask me how I lost most of the weight, but some of it was from cutting back on the snacks during the day.

I am proud to say that right now I range between 138 - 151... I know that I am not fat, people always tell me I am so small, no one has ever called me fat... but when I look at myself I still think of myself as "that fat girl".

When I was fat I thought that when I lost the weight it'd be really noticeable when I looked at the mirror. But all I see it that my chest still seems big and saggy, I still have a slight gut, my thighs seem huge and collide...

I guess if I was only 100 pounds I'd probably still pick things out and think they made me fat. I seem to have to realization about how small I actually am. When I compare myself to other people I usually think the bigger girls are closer to my size then the ones why wear the same size as me!

Anonymous said...

I like your article. I was fat before and I believe that it's a psychological issue.. Thanks for sharing!
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