6.16.2006

#20 - I hate that I might die if I don't lose weight!

Sometimes I get these awful feelings like I might be dying or something! Like if I get too winded doing something and feel a little light-headed, I fear that I might be stroking out. I feel like I'm a walking heart attack just waiting to blow! I've had a physical recently, and my exam and bloodwork are ok - I don't think I'm ACTUALLY on the brink of death, but I worry anyway! I just don't want to be one of those statistics. You know, "oh you remember Jenny, she died from a stroke at 32," "What a shame, she was morbidly obese you know." "She brought it on herself." Doesn't that just sound terrible - MORBIDLY OBESE (in layman's terms morbidly obese = deadly fat!). I even used a program the other day, to track my calories and weight, that told me I had extreme morbid obesity - dear God, that's awful! My dad died when he was 51 from a brain aneurysm. I don't want to die early like he did, but from a condition that I have control over! That would be a shame!!!

3 comments:

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Kat E said...

I totally <3 you and your site too!

weightlossbookintheworks said...

I totally can relate to your feelings of panic when you feel that your body is responding in ways that appear to be what they are not (eg a heart attack or stroke.) Take comfort in the fact that your physical was positive, and use that (as you are) as a catalyst to propel you into a 'good health mode.' Most likely, you're winded because you're not breathing properly, or you're dehydrated. Lots of water and breathing gently from your diaphragm will alleviate the problem...

I like your page, even though I've read only a few entries. Because you don't allow anon posts, I've joined Blogspot now. lol Kudos to you for becoming more healthy. :-)