Dating propects are not so good for the ample proportioned. I hate the double-standard though. Fat girls never seem to get the guy, but fat guys always seem to find someone to date. I hate this! I've seen really ugly and/or fat guys with cute skinny girls. What gives? You never see a fat chick with a hot stud! And the thing is you'd expect fat guys to be attracted to fat girls - not so! Fat guys seem extra appalled by fat girls - maybe a reminder of their own obesity.
I haven't dated in a LONG time. I won't even go into specifics. I'll only say that I actually can't recall the details of the last time I got laid. How sad! Don't get me wrong - I've had offers, only they were from very scary and/or disgusting men! I still have standards. My last boyfriend was model beautiful, so my Mr. Right has very large shoes to fill!
I've heard of these bars called Goddess Bars, where heavy girls can meet men who are interested in fat girls. I'm reluctant though, I don't plan on being heavy forever, and I'm a little scared of these chubby chasers. It sounds kind of fetishistic. But I guess it'd be a way to get back on the horse, so to speak.
Alternatively, I can just lose weight, and find my Mr. Right. You know, I really want to find a man that doesn't care about weight, etc., but finding a man period is impossible when you're fat. It's like I have to lose weight to find a guy, and then determine if he's open to larger women. What a weird mess!
7 comments:
you are so right im not huge but im chunky and i like this guy that is bald and fat but he now has a skinny pretty girlfriend you are so right about not cute guys
i so agree im chunky and cant find a guy yet i like a guy whos chunky and not that cute its a double
My last two relationships were with guys who likes big girls. One absolutely loves us, and the other just had no problem with it at all. At some point, the preference of it makes me think that if I were thin, they wouldn't date me cause they may be worried about me cheating on them.
hey hun im so happy i found your blog, i found ir yesterday but was really busy so i added it to my favorites...
Im something between a size 12 and a size 14 and i have never had a date... and this thing you're saying is soooo true cause the crushes I've had they havent been like more atractive than me or anything but they end up with really "hot" girls. I'm starting to become someone whoe doesn't even have crushes anymore
Here’s my take on it:
You’ll never get a date as a fat girl! I haven’t. Why even bother to imagine if you’ll actually find love (someone who loves you for who you are syndrome). You’re not, I’m not! It’s not gonna happen, ever period! It’s because as fat woman, we have to face the fact that we’ve had the dubious honor or NIGHTMARE of having that ugly part of male humanity which insists that any woman he’s with, satisfy his visceral need for beauty before he can even consider being with her. We’ve seen what men really value in a woman. I can’t tell you how many of my svelte friends have absolutely no idea, that the man they’re with, is with them about 85% of the way, just because of the way they look and believe me, nobody wants to think about it.
I have finally come a conclusion and it’s seriously provided me with some solace. Even if you get the man you want (meaning you had lost the weight) and someone had noticed you …. Blah blah blah .. flash forward .. then you’re with him…even then … you know .. you have to know, as you’ve lived through it.. you’re now in the position of so many of your svelte friends, of having someone who truly values you 85%+ of the way based solely on how you look. It doesn’t make me feel warm and fuzzy and oh so happy to be thin.. BUT.. and this is the clincher girls! .. it does make me say…if this is the system .. then so be it!… I have to loose the weight for health reasons ..but mark my words, I’m taking this “bleeping” system, this male visceral proclamation and finding someone. I’ll always know they don’t love me for me but mostly because of the way I look, but “#$#$%^&” so what.. I don’t love them ..I just love their money… and I sure as hell will love the life I can live with their economic resources. As one of my college roommates always said…”Money won’t buy you love but it sure does by you a hell of a lot of fun.” My svelte friends are living large. So should I!
I say this as a slightly larger than average young man who is dating a large girl (I'd say she is size 18-20 at least?).
Girls need to forget this "I want to find a man who doesn't love me for my body." or "I want a guy who doesn't care about weight."
There is no logic there. Either the guy cares about weight and wants you to lose some or he cares about weight and is a chubby chaser. I am unashamed to admit I am in the former category. But I wouldn't be with my current girlfriend if I didn't like her for non-physical reasons (well, she is beautiful).
What you have to be is practical. There might be plenty of guys out there who will love you for what is on the inside, but you'll never know because your body keeps them from ever discovering who you are. That isn't their fault, it is yours. The body is just one part of the equation but it still matters.
I certainly know men and women are measured on different standards. However, I also see the side where women who contact me on dating sites have a very mistaken self perception. I am normal a normal sized male and get contacted by plus size women frequently. I don't know why they think I would be interested in them, but they seem to think we are equivalent. I know women who get contacted by 62 year old grandfathers or overweight men, but it is not only a feature of men to try to hit on people they are not equivelant to. Heavy people should date each other as they have similar lifestyles. So women, go after the heavy guys and vice versa.
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